If

If all of our new year wishes came true...


1. We lecturers can submit our exam questions when and if we please, so long as it's before the exam date, and we would be giving orders to the Exams Center, not the other way around

2. Amount of bonus given to us will be directly proportional to the number of students we failed in the past academic year (more repeats meaning more profits)

3. Yearly salary increment will be directly proportional to average weekly teaching hours for the past academic year (standard logic, ok?)

4. The week-long break granted to students for CNY will be extended to us too (c'mon, what are we to do here, if there are no one to teach? it's like compulsory leaves taken from our already not-too-many annual leave days)

5. If 1 person sends an email in protest of any unjust management decision, 10 people will reply with their support, and 10 more to support each of the 10 supporters.... and so on and so forth.

6. The teaching staff of an institution of higher learning such as ours will be placed at the top of the pyramid of value and importance - and not at the bottom (like buruh kasar)

7. We can take our lunch at the same hour every day! (... followed by an optional afternoon nap *winks*)


I wish everyone a very Happy Chinese New Year. Gong Xi Fa Cai. " May all your wishes come true!"

Something Amusing

The following is an extract from an email sent by a colleague, about things that the students should not do in their hostel rooms (word-for-word, complete and unabridged - except for omissions to protect privacy). I personally find it amusing (not the gist of the message, but rather the author's style of writing and expressions). Would you be amused as well? Read and you'll find out.


No smoking in the room
Reason: Smoking might cause the lung cancer. Therefore, we are big brother and sister should look after our students’ health. Remember our government had launched a non-smoking campaign "Tak Nak Merokok" two years ago? Smoking also cause other non-smoking residents feel annoying. So, we must help them. If they are already addicted, so we have to advise them to smoke outside our campus.

No Sharp items in the room like, Samurai and sword
Reason: All these weapons might hurt other residents. We will confiscate all these weapons. I know, in the market, there are certain weapons like samurai can be used as room decoration. But, this has to get the permission from (omitted)

No alcohol drink
Reason: This might cause the student become drunkard!! Once they become drunkard, they might cause a lot of problems in the Hostel. I remember the case four years ago which happened in the (omitted). One Indonesian student get drunk, and he try to commit suicide. Luckily, we had stopped him jumped from fourth floor.

No refrigerator in the room
Reason: This might cause our electricity bill increase. Not only that, the fuse might blow so often. Actually, we have to identify those electrical equipment’s power rating. Those equipments’ power rating more than 900 W will be confiscated. Microwave oven also not allowed in the room

No pets in the room
Reason: apart from fish, no other pets allowed to keep in the room

No gambling in the room
Reason: illegal gambling will be reported to (omitted)

No illegal residents stay in the room
Reason: This one, I want to highlight at here is: for those students who already graduated, they are not allowed to stay in with their friends. This was happened quite often all the time. So, we have to open our eyes big Big and BIG! to monitor this issue...


Are you amused? Have a great day ahead. :)

Unfortunately

This morning I woke up early enough, and made it in good time to the KTM station to catch my 7am commuter train. Unfortunately, the train did not arrive until after 7.06am. Reaching my destination nearly ten minutes later than usual, I missed the college bus that would take me to campus.

After being stranded at the station for about 15 minutes, a public bus came by and by chance, it was going to the campus. Gladly, I boarded the bus. Unfortunately I had to pay the RM1 fare which I usually, being a college staff, needn't.

We had a faculty meeting in the afternoon, supposedly from 12.15pm - 1.30pm. The dean and head of programmes made their announcements brief and swift, and were finished by slightly after 1pm. How delighted we were - there was time to go out for lunch because the next class for some of us would start only at 2pm. Unfortunately, a senior management 'associate vice-president' who joined our meeting had something to say. It was all useless, redundant crap and she spent about 20 minutes talking about it. So we ended up having to stay in the meeting until nearly 1.30pm. So much for thinking that the meeting would end earlier!

In the evening, I caught the 5.15pm bus from campus to the KTM station, and was really quite happy because I was there by 5.40pm - in really good time (again) to catch the 5.47pm train. Unfortunately, the train was late (again!!!) - it didn't arrive until 6.05pm. And the damn (ahem, pardon me) driver sped so hard the train almost missed the platform. All the over-eager people ran towards the doors and I, in my 2-inch heels, had to run along (kiasu mah).

The train was quite full, and there were no seats left. However, I am quite comfortable standing for the 25-minute journey, so it wasn't that big a deal. I stood next to a vertical rail and held on as the train moved. Nice and steady. Unfortunately, at the next stop, a bunch of young Malay girls got into the train and one of them grabbed the rail I was holding on to, and stood so close to it that I simply couldn't hold on properly without touching her body (no, I DON'T want to touch her).

I was a little pissed but still managed quite adequately. I happily fed on the thought that I'd be home soon, and these little misfortunes would soon be over. Unfortunately, at the next stop, a man, whose bags were on the floor next to the rail I was deperately trying to hold on to, reached out to take them. So both the Malay girl and myself had to temporarily let go and step aside to get out of his way. The moment the bags were gone, before I could react, the girl leaned her whole self against the rail and there wasn't an inch left for me to hold on to anymore. And there I was - totally helpless and without support. When the train moved again, I had to do a han-senkutsu-dachi (half-wide stance) for balance (note: was still in my 2-inch heels). Just as I thought I was doing rather well (having not fallen over although the train swayed, jerked and rattled from side to side while speeding along the tracks), more unfortunately, the girl who hogged the rail that was mine decided to pull her friend, who had a rather large backpack on her back, up next to her. So there I was - already fragile with balancing on heels in a moving train, having to endure being knocked by a corner of her backpack every few seconds. At the next stop, most unfortunately, a LARGE crowd got up the train and it became so packed I could no longer keep my stance. I was shoved so that I ended up right next to the door, having no more than 2cm of space between my feet (you're not supposed on lean on the doors and you can't balance with your feet close together!). I think the reader can imagine how the train 'ride' was for me thereafter. To top it all - when I reached my stop, it was raining, and because the train was so packed, it was near impossible for me to rummage for my umbrella in my bag.

Gosh, what a day! Really glad I'm home now :)

New Year

Seems a little late to say "Happy New Year" now, but still, it's not yet one week into 2006. With a new year, most people talk about resolutions. But really, I am not, never was, a resolution person. No point making resolutions I don't plan to keep in mind two minutes after they're made, no point trying to pretend I have high-and-flying resolutions when I don't really believe in them. Come on, how many people actually even remember their resolution by the year's end? Quoting a former roomate, "... remember to make new resolutions especially if you did not fulfill them this year. Always good to break them again :P"

These days, I feel too old to have any kind of elaborate celebrations on New Year's eve to welcome the new year. I still the remember the time when my friends and I, being wild, unruly teenagers still, held slumber parties to celebrate new years. Once, around 12am of a Jan 1, we gathered around a public phone booth (within the grounds of the Balai Bomba opposite Kate's house), called every guy whose phone number we had, and screamed "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!" (all 6 or 7 of us at the same time) into the receiver mouth piece. It was crazy, it was fun! After several calls, screamings and thunderous laughing fits, a couple of firemen peeped from a first floor window of the bomba building and asked us what was going on. What was going on? "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!" we screamed at them. No, we didn't get reprimanded - it was, afterall, new year's day.


In addition to 2006, we're also in a new semester with a promise of new and greater challenges - 2- or 3-time repeating ones, pea-brained ones, smart-ass ones, non-responsive ones, sly ones, cheeky ones, I-like-to-be-absent ones, I-want-retest ones, I'm-gonna-give-you-BAD-evaluation ones, etc. How are we going to get through them all?!? Well, we'll give 100% effort of course (refer to calendar pic - click on it!) - thanks so much Yee, for sharing it with us. :)
Happy New Year, everybody!