Where I work, a lot of meetings and stuff are made compulsory, and if anyone were not able to make it, he/she will have to submit a written apology. One such meeting was held a couple of days ago, and it was a pretty important one since we held discussions with our counterparts from a university in UK through a speaker phone (and yes - long distance phone call). Still, naturally, there were some people who were not able to make it.
During the meeting, the kwai-lo on the line posed a question to a lecturer who weren't in the room, and instead of the simple, straight-forward "He is not available today" or "He's unable to come to this meeting", the chair on our side here said "Oh, he's on apology!" - being, I guess, too eager to indicate to the kwai-lo that the absent lecturer was absent with apology, not just absent. Anyhow, if the kwai-lo noticed it, he pretended rather well to have understood what the our guy here said. Probably he's already used to it.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Friday, June 16, 2006
Answer This!
My colleague, sen sen, asked this question - "Why is Superman's shirt so tight?" - and I said "To reduce friction when he's flying..." and sen sen labeled me a 'person without humour' because my answer was not creative at all.
So, here I present the question to all - please answer it as creatively as you can!
original post plus answers
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
(Back To) The Secret Garden
Way, way back in 1994, the Popular bookstore in town had this huge collection of 'complete and unabridged' classics in paperback, selling for RM2.90 - RM3.90 each. That was when my bestfriend and I hauled in a considerable number of the usual titles - Journey to the Center of the Earth, King Solomon's Mines, Little Women, Lorna Doone - and The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. The Secret Garden is the story of Mary Lennox, her sickly cousin, Colin and Dickon, the boy who foxes and crows loved, the locked-up garden which they tended, and the Magic in it. I loved this story so much I read and re-read the book several times. I am not sure how many times my bestfriend read the book, but I knew the characters made quite an impression on her too. We'd have discussions on the story, the characters and such. And my bestfriend, the ever hopeless romantic, once pondered over who Mary will end up with - Colin or Dickon - when they grow up. She personally favoured Dickon, but a sequel to the book was never actually written.Last weekend, surfing the TV channels for something to watch, I stumbled upon a movie called "Back to the Secret Garden" on Hallmark Channel, which was just going to start. I didn't give it much thought until I saw the words "Based on characters created by Frances Hodgson Burnett" displayed across the screen. I decided to watch it.
Truly, it was, in a way, a sequel to The Secret Garden. Mary was now the mistress of Misselthwaite Manor, the mansion in which she grew up, and had turned it into a home for orphaned children. Martha, her friend and Dickon's sister, the housemaid in the original story, is now the housekeeper. When I heard Mary addressed as "Lady Mary Craven", I knew that in this sequel, Mary had married Colin. Whatever happened to Dickon then? My bestfriend would be thoroughly heartbroken to know that in this (horrible) sequel, Dickon 'gave his life for his country' - died in war, I suppose. How sad. And the 'secret garden' was mysteriously 'dying' - but ultimately saved by a little orphan girl. It was a silly sequel. A wonderful, magical classic made silly by movie sequels. Sigh.
How sad!
Saturday, June 3, 2006
Men!
I have stories of two men to tell. No, they're not related.
First man:
A professor from Australia gave a talk in our campus recently, and presented a book she authored to the school. In the next day, the man in subject previewed the book and was all praises for it! He told others that he finds the professor very intelligent and her book a superb one - and then, he announced that he was going to make a photocopy of the book. As if it was not enough, he also asked around "Who else want copies?" (probably thinking he can ask the photocopy shop for bulk discount) [roll your eyes now].
Second man:
This man is part of the organizing committee for a conference, which is currently facing a lack of paper presenters. At a recent meeting, I asked this man if he would present a paper of his own, and his response was "Yes, I do have a paper, but I don't want to present it in this conference. It's not good enough. I'd rather present it somewhere else with higher (academic) reputation." [roll your eyes somemore].
Well, what can we say? Men!
First man:
A professor from Australia gave a talk in our campus recently, and presented a book she authored to the school. In the next day, the man in subject previewed the book and was all praises for it! He told others that he finds the professor very intelligent and her book a superb one - and then, he announced that he was going to make a photocopy of the book. As if it was not enough, he also asked around "Who else want copies?" (probably thinking he can ask the photocopy shop for bulk discount) [roll your eyes now].
Second man:
This man is part of the organizing committee for a conference, which is currently facing a lack of paper presenters. At a recent meeting, I asked this man if he would present a paper of his own, and his response was "Yes, I do have a paper, but I don't want to present it in this conference. It's not good enough. I'd rather present it somewhere else with higher (academic) reputation." [roll your eyes somemore].
Well, what can we say? Men!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The Da Vinci Code
I read this book more than a year ago. Right after its publication, The Da Vinci Code quickly made its way to the bestsellers' lists, and was cast into the limelight so much so that numerous other works on the book itself, or on the same subject, or both, were churned out (and are still being churned out I'm sure). Suddenly, we find ourselves suffocated by books (written by other authors) titled along the lines of "unofficial guide" or "separating facts from fiction" or "the truth behind" or whatever catchy (or sometimes lousy) titles, riding on the waves of the "controversy" created by Dan Brown's latest book. (Come on, we all know you people are just out here to make quick money. If you're so good at writing, find your own topics and write about them!) Then, there were documentaries produced by Discovery and National Geographic channels, in which various "experts" in history, theology, archeology, whatever-whatever-ology were interviewed and asked to prove Brown right or wrong. These were at least interesting to watch, but the only conclusion I made watching them was - you know your book is a superb success when they call in experts to prove you wrong. Then, there was even a lawsuit! (Come on la! People will do anything to get quick money).When the movie was made, there were protests and hundreds, maybe thousands more publications (online and offline) about "fictions" and "inaccuracies" in Brown's theory. Not to be mean or skeptical, I find all these really stupid. How can anyone be 100% sure of the exact events that took place 2000 years ago? You say you have this and that and whatever-whatever authentic documents - but are you sure the person who wrote it wrote the absolute truth and nothing else? Yeah, argue all you want. To me, nobody knows what really took place, which is why religion is based on faith, not facts. If someone wants to question his faith after reading a bestseller, that's his problem and I suggest we let him solve it himself. I had to laugh when I read in the newspaper that people who have not read the book nor watched the movie want to BAN it.
Gosh, I am tired of all of these. I thought I'd never comment on this book and the controversies surrounding it, because well, I don't want to offend anyone. Well, so far I have not actually touched on the contents of the book. What I really want to say, is that once you have such a "controversial" bestseller out there, people don't stop at just attacking your stories and theories - read this. This guy here picked on Brown's writing style and language usage. Have you read the entry at the link yet? (Go read it - seriously!) Do you understand every "mistake" (made by Brown, supposedly) the blogger pointed out? If you do, then you must be either a linguistic expert, or a literature scholar.
Now, if you have not read the book or seen the movie (I myself have not seen the movie yet) don't praise nor criticise. Don't let others' judgement influence you. These people are just jealous because Dan Brown became a very rich man overnight. Go get the book, or go see the movie, and see if you'll enjoy yourself!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
More Scams
Just a day ago I posted an entry about a kind of email scam, and today I got two more! So, what the heck - here they are (you can see there are many different versions of the same scam)
(email 1)
Good Day.
Your profile i saw in our local chamber of commerce impressed me so deeply that i feel i must share this good busuness oportunity with you in order to benefit from your wealth of experience in international transactions of this nature. I have utmost trust and confidence that you are indeed capable of assisting me by acting as my TRUSTEE to enable me withdraw my inheritance which of $18.3 million Dollars, from Kudos Securities Abidjan where my father, late Dr.Joshua K. Nkomo of Zimbabwe,concealed ,but declared as containing just family treasure.He never mentioned it contains physical cash.Today I am here in Abidjan to Claim my inheritance.
Why i need your assistance is because in the Deposit Agreement Certificate,my father emphatically stated that the consignment will be released to me when iam 30 years of age. Alternatively if the war situation that followed the murder of my parents During the war against the farmers in Zimbabwe from the supports of President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white-owned farms to his party members and his followers, he ordered all white farmers to surrender all their farms to his party members and his followers.
Now,i want to leave Africa to get more peace in my life through a reputable foreign investor whom i will appoint as my TRUSTEE before the company can release the consignment to me. This is because the insurance coverage on the deposit has expired yesterday . The trustee will be expected to oversee the transaction and excercise absolute control over the money untill i round up my master's / Doctorate degree programmes in international relations in your country and to invest the proceeds in Real Estate in your country and under your tutelage.
I shall give you 25% of the total proceeds if you accept to be my TRUSTEE and assist me to withdraw and invest this Money wisely, as iam only 26 years old and not experienced enough to handle this all alone.I Will be most grateful and relieved if you could please write me or send me your phone number so we can get to know better before i can send you a copy of the Deposit Agreement Certificate to enable you take my message with the seriousness it deserves.
From Jean Robert Nkomo Jr.
(email 2 - this comes with a phone number too!)
Compliments of the season,
Before proceeding, I wish to introduce myself to you, I am Richard Martines a staff of Bank Of Scotland. I am the head of the accounts department. I am pleased to get across to you for a very urgent and profitable business proposal which I believe will profit the both of us after completion. i contacted youafter a careful thought that you might be capable of handling this business transaction, which I explained below.
The sum of ? 22,000,000.00 (tweenty-two-million-pounds)has been floating as unclaimed since 2000 in my bank as all efforts to get across to the his relatives of our client who deposited the money have hit the stones. According to british law if know one appear to cliam this und it will revert to the government.
Hope here from you soon as regards to this claimes or call me with my number.
Tele:447031915796
Bank Of Scotland
God bless you,
Chief Accountant Richard Martines
Kate is sharp enough to notice that these emails don't look authentic (see comments for previous post). Well, they don't look authentic because - well, they simply aren't! OK, you have been warned. :)
(email 1)
Good Day.
Your profile i saw in our local chamber of commerce impressed me so deeply that i feel i must share this good busuness oportunity with you in order to benefit from your wealth of experience in international transactions of this nature. I have utmost trust and confidence that you are indeed capable of assisting me by acting as my TRUSTEE to enable me withdraw my inheritance which of $18.3 million Dollars, from Kudos Securities Abidjan where my father, late Dr.Joshua K. Nkomo of Zimbabwe,concealed ,but declared as containing just family treasure.He never mentioned it contains physical cash.Today I am here in Abidjan to Claim my inheritance.
Why i need your assistance is because in the Deposit Agreement Certificate,my father emphatically stated that the consignment will be released to me when iam 30 years of age. Alternatively if the war situation that followed the murder of my parents During the war against the farmers in Zimbabwe from the supports of President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white-owned farms to his party members and his followers, he ordered all white farmers to surrender all their farms to his party members and his followers.
Now,i want to leave Africa to get more peace in my life through a reputable foreign investor whom i will appoint as my TRUSTEE before the company can release the consignment to me. This is because the insurance coverage on the deposit has expired yesterday . The trustee will be expected to oversee the transaction and excercise absolute control over the money untill i round up my master's / Doctorate degree programmes in international relations in your country and to invest the proceeds in Real Estate in your country and under your tutelage.
I shall give you 25% of the total proceeds if you accept to be my TRUSTEE and assist me to withdraw and invest this Money wisely, as iam only 26 years old and not experienced enough to handle this all alone.I Will be most grateful and relieved if you could please write me or send me your phone number so we can get to know better before i can send you a copy of the Deposit Agreement Certificate to enable you take my message with the seriousness it deserves.
From Jean Robert Nkomo Jr.
(email 2 - this comes with a phone number too!)
Compliments of the season,
Before proceeding, I wish to introduce myself to you, I am Richard Martines a staff of Bank Of Scotland. I am the head of the accounts department. I am pleased to get across to you for a very urgent and profitable business proposal which I believe will profit the both of us after completion. i contacted youafter a careful thought that you might be capable of handling this business transaction, which I explained below.
The sum of ? 22,000,000.00 (tweenty-two-million-pounds)has been floating as unclaimed since 2000 in my bank as all efforts to get across to the his relatives of our client who deposited the money have hit the stones. According to british law if know one appear to cliam this und it will revert to the government.
Hope here from you soon as regards to this claimes or call me with my number.
Tele:447031915796
Bank Of Scotland
God bless you,
Chief Accountant Richard Martines
Kate is sharp enough to notice that these emails don't look authentic (see comments for previous post). Well, they don't look authentic because - well, they simply aren't! OK, you have been warned. :)
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Scam
Readers, remember the cases where people (a professor, even!) were cheated of their money by individuals who seemingly have a LARGE sum of money which needed help in being transferred from a country to another, bla bla bla, and if the victims helped make the transactions, they will be given a handsome sum as "appreciation", bla bla bla. These "offers" come either by mails or emails (I read of a case where the victim was contacted by phone, too) and if the victims respond, they will be instructed to pay several sums of money over some weeks / months for whatever, whatever. After the victims had paid - that's it. Done.
Five minutes ago, I received one such email. It's not the first time too - must be the 4th or 5th time at least! This time, instead of deleting the email immediately without a second thought (as I did to the previously received emails), I decided to post it. Probably you, my readers, are well aware that the following is a scam, but for those who don't - please take note - NEVER believe an email such as this:
Dear ,
Do accept my sincere apologies if my message does not meet your personal Ethics. Firstly i would like to introduce myself. I am Panca Usaha Savimbi the son of Jonas Savimbi then leader of Angola UNITA MOVEMENT (National Unionfor the Total Liberation) who was killed by Angolan Government in 2002.
Visit this website below for an update;
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/special_report/1999/01/99/angola/264094.stm
Since then we have been living on political asylum in Indonesiafor the past 4 years on the mercy of the formal president of IndonesiaMegawati Sukarnoputri. We recently received notification letter from the presidency reminding that our political asylum in Indonesia is about to come to an end, that means we have only few months to go back to Angola.
Please accept my appeal because I have no other choice for the fact that I don’t want to go back to Angolaat this point in time for safety reasons. I want a country where I will feel safe and live happy always. If you accept my request you will be of great important.
I have in our possession Five Million Dollars (US$ 5,000,000) Valued family treasure which I deposited into a Security Company the first time we arrived here under ally property due to there was no search on our properties and belongings the time we arrived at Indonesia but its definite certain that there would be a through search on our properties and belongings any time we want to leave this country.
My proposal is for you to stand in as my ally and receive this treasure in my behalf then arrange to accept us in country of your choice. We need to buy a family house, a car and to invest in any profitable business for day by day income. My offer to you is to help me relocate to any country where I can assume freedom life or resident permit if possible.
I just need a reliable person who could make my dreams come true. From every assessment if I found you to be trustworthy, I will unveil to you the deposit certificate and the formality to carry on the transaction. I will compensate you with 20% of the money for your assistance after achieving the success.
On your interest kindly send the following details of yours;
1, NAME
2, LOCATION/ADDRESS.
3, AGE
4, JOB
5, PRIVATE TEL/FAX NUMBERS
This transaction is totally 100% risk free as the treasure is a legitimate and does not originate from drug, money laundry, terrorism or any kind of illegal act. On your interest, kindly contact me on my private email: panca_usaha@plasa.com
Sincerely yours,
Panca Usaha
Remember this - if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Beware.
Five minutes ago, I received one such email. It's not the first time too - must be the 4th or 5th time at least! This time, instead of deleting the email immediately without a second thought (as I did to the previously received emails), I decided to post it. Probably you, my readers, are well aware that the following is a scam, but for those who don't - please take note - NEVER believe an email such as this:
Dear ,
Do accept my sincere apologies if my message does not meet your personal Ethics. Firstly i would like to introduce myself. I am Panca Usaha Savimbi the son of Jonas Savimbi then leader of Angola UNITA MOVEMENT (National Unionfor the Total Liberation) who was killed by Angolan Government in 2002.
Visit this website below for an update;
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/special_report/1999/01/99/angola/264094.stm
Since then we have been living on political asylum in Indonesiafor the past 4 years on the mercy of the formal president of IndonesiaMegawati Sukarnoputri. We recently received notification letter from the presidency reminding that our political asylum in Indonesia is about to come to an end, that means we have only few months to go back to Angola.
Please accept my appeal because I have no other choice for the fact that I don’t want to go back to Angolaat this point in time for safety reasons. I want a country where I will feel safe and live happy always. If you accept my request you will be of great important.
I have in our possession Five Million Dollars (US$ 5,000,000) Valued family treasure which I deposited into a Security Company the first time we arrived here under ally property due to there was no search on our properties and belongings the time we arrived at Indonesia but its definite certain that there would be a through search on our properties and belongings any time we want to leave this country.
My proposal is for you to stand in as my ally and receive this treasure in my behalf then arrange to accept us in country of your choice. We need to buy a family house, a car and to invest in any profitable business for day by day income. My offer to you is to help me relocate to any country where I can assume freedom life or resident permit if possible.
I just need a reliable person who could make my dreams come true. From every assessment if I found you to be trustworthy, I will unveil to you the deposit certificate and the formality to carry on the transaction. I will compensate you with 20% of the money for your assistance after achieving the success.
On your interest kindly send the following details of yours;
1, NAME
2, LOCATION/ADDRESS.
3, AGE
4, JOB
5, PRIVATE TEL/FAX NUMBERS
This transaction is totally 100% risk free as the treasure is a legitimate and does not originate from drug, money laundry, terrorism or any kind of illegal act. On your interest, kindly contact me on my private email: panca_usaha@plasa.com
Sincerely yours,
Panca Usaha
Remember this - if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Beware.
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