I do not think of you often, I'll admit, especially since you've chosen to distance yourself from everyone I knew were your friend. It's unnatural, however, to not think of you at all on this date.
Sometimes, I wonder what changed, that you lost your way, and went on losing yourself to the point that I feel I do not know you anymore. Sometimes, I wonder if it were me who never saw nor knew the real you right from the start. Sometimes, I even wonder if I might have unwittingly contributed, however insignificantly, to the poor choices you've made. And I always wonder how much it was my fault for your having done wrong our friends.
I never meant to hurt. Not you, not our friends.
Forgiveness, I'm sure, though perhaps not easy to come by, isn't impossible to obtain, if you would just ask it of those who still care. If you would pay what you owe and strive on with honour and honesty. The road may be long and hard, but what is life, if it isn't that?
I hope you are well, where ever you are, and I hope you will find your way back to your family, your friends, life and normalcy.
Happy birthday, old friend.
2 comments:
oh! through my teary eyes...i write this...and can feel your words deep in my chest. i know someone (too) who this would be the perfect thing to say. so sad.
i hope this person you are reaching out to, finds their way...just as i hope my person does...
We will keep hoping! :)
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