Friday, December 23, 2005

Little Things

What do you do when...

1. you're on the phone? Do you pull and fondle the hems of your shirt, roll and crumple any paper that happens to be in your hands, or scribble like mad on a note pad if there is one with a pen around?

2. someone is trying to bore your brains out with the most boring of conversations? Do you "hmmmm, oh, ic" all the way, look left, right, up and down every 10 seconds, or stare at his nose and pretend you're interested in the topic (while at the same time thinking of how ugly he is)?

3. you're in the dentist's chair with your mouth pried open and your teeth drilled into? Do you stare into the dentist's eyes, mask, throat or shirt collar and buttons, stare at the light or the ceiling, or close your eyes and try to imagine you're somewhere else?

4. you're waiting for a webpage to load? Do you stare at the page loading, drum your fingers on the mouse, or click on every other tab in the taskbar in turn just to take a glance at all your other opened windows?

5. you want to curse but your young son/daughter is within audible range? Well, I seriously think you shouldn't, but if you really want to, try using "droppings", "female dog" and "offspring of a female dog" instead of the usual ones.


Monday, December 19, 2005

Untitled ^^

Here's to all my friends: Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday, Happy New Year, Happy Birthday (different birthday girl *wink*) and Happy Chinese New Year.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Shorter is Better

There are lots of discrimination issues - racial, sexual, religious - even discrimination against overweight people; but never height discrimination. Yes, all over, people openly protest and fight against discrimination of others based on race, gender or religion, and never height - I am serious about it. And short people suffer much for being short! One'd never hear of anyone being too tall for anything - but too short, definitely! For one thing, to be an air-steward/stewardess, one has to be above a certain height. I have heard that it's because they have to be able to reach up to the cabinets for hand-luggages (it's lame, but ok, I'll buy it). The other irritating fact is that all models and beauty pageant contestants have to be obnoxiously tall. What - only tall is considered beautiful, and short is not? And it'd never crossed any minds that this is downright a full-fledged discrimination?

My fellow short friends and I have always thought that it is way better being at the height that we are. Not convinced? Let me share a classic then - my good friend Shali's 17 Reasons Why It's Better Being Short:

1. We have lower centers of gravity, thus we're much more stable (we don't go off-balance and fall easily even when standing up during the roughest of bus or train journeys)

2. We don't need to bend when we pass under signboard etc. (no unnecessary strains to the backbone)

3. We are granted a seating in the much talked-about "Penguin Clan" (our own secret society for the vertically-challenged)

4. We have a very low probability ( about 0.000001246) of being struck by lightning

5. We get to line up in front during assembly (every schoolgirl's dream - really!)

6. We'll look 17 all the time (now, nearly ten years past 17, we still need to show our ICs when entering casinos - that's a real compliment!)

7. We consume a lot less amount of cloth for our clothing - really environment-friendly creatures!

8. We get a lower fare going into the bus, zoos, museums etc. (has not happened to me yet, but it's a probable wishful thinking *grin*)

9. During hide-and-seek, we can hide in the smallest crevices (not to mention we can tuck our legs comfortably up around us when we sit in a standard-sized chair, whereas long-legged freaks have to leave them on the floor... haha)

10. Our hearts are much healthier because they don't need to pump vigorously - the distance between our hearts and our legs are not much!

11. We tend to react faster because our impulses have less distance to travel, and can, therefore, reach our brains much sooner.

12. We can float on water easily

13. We get to look like Ms Heng (our petite Physics teacher whom we love and idolise)

14. We look closely related to our ancestors... the chimps (try as you may, tall as you are, you cannot deny your origin!)

15. God spent much less time creating us (He's a busy man, He needs all the free time He gets)

16. We use a lot less water when we bathe.

17. We don't empty half the pool when we plunge in (also, we get to swim in both the adult's and the children's pools)

(For the record, Shali wrote this when she was 17)

Thursday, December 1, 2005

Service with a Scowl

I don't know what's so hard in putting up a pleasant countenance and adding a little pleasure in serving customers and making it enjoyable for them, so much so that companies have to spend money to train and provide incentives for their staff to please the customers. Still, I guess most of these are not working too well.

Within the last one week, I've had encountered bad service 3 times! Twice were with young, impertinent cashier girls, and once with an old fool of my company's HR executive. The problem with cashier girls are a little tricky - the business is not theirs, and they don't plan on holding on to that job until retirement - so what do they care? It's very irritating because you'd be handling your hard-earned money over to an ungrateful, black-faced, scowling brat. For the my recent two encounters, the impertinence included letting me wait, standing at the counters, then having the aforesaid black-faced cashiers come stomping in, snatching (literally) the money out of my hands, then pushing my change and purchases back at me without so much as a 'thank you'. Well, well! These days, I am more well-mannered than to spit my contempt back at these people. A few years ago, when a cashier woman (she's too old to be termed "girl") showed intolerable rudeness and inefficiency, I threw the item I was going to buy back at her, and stomped off, declaring I don't want it anymore. I'm not proud of what I did, but it felt good.

As for the HR old fool, I was very indignant because he'd chided me (in a very insulting manner) for not knowing who to look for for the cancellation of my leave. OK, I admit, it's a little bad that I've worked for the company for so long, and I still don't know the procedure - but hey, that shows that I'm always decided, and always planned my leaves so well, that I don't need to cancel or change the dates once I'd applied for them. And being a non-fickle minded person when it comes to taking days off, am I not doing that old fool a favour by not troubling him changes or cancellations? And to be insulted for that? I think he's seriously more of a liability than an asset to our organisation. What a babi hutan! (Readers, please excuse me language)

Is it really that hard to pleasant? I find it a personal pleasure to speak politely to people (even when I am not gaining anything by doing so) and to smile once or twice in the course of the conversation (although I do not have an enchanting smile). I guess, these days, too many of them are born with the notion that the world owes them a favour. And it's a trait that no amount of team-building or personal development courses will rid, unless they themselves strive to change for the better.