Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Tuesday Blues

I am sick. I have been sick for nearly a week now, and my day off yesterday was spent being sick at home. Should have taken it as a medical leave instead... what a waste!

- I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
- Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
- Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder.
- Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
- Procrastinate now!
- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
- A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
- A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

Drag a table and chair out tonight; enjoy your mooncakes under the moonlight; if you're lucky, you just may see chang-er (in your dreams la) Happy Mid-Autumn Festival. I am sick... and craving for fried oysters with egg (oh jien).

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Happy Girlfriends' Day

Girlfriends are the best things that happen to girls and they deserve to be honoured and loved. :)

To my girlfriends...

... who made me look forward to going to school every morning and stayed back till evening, six days a week

... who demonstrated that internal organs can have out-of-body experiences

... who proved to me that sisters are not just those bound by blood, and can be gotten outside the home

... who showed me that a little cheekiness can be a lot of fun, and never harmed anyone

... who made me realise that too much studying will only provide one's sister with more amusement

... who discovered that being over-the-line crazy can release all exam tensions

... who became a terrific karate partner despite my being too short for her

... who gave me hope that not all everyone in Kiasu University had to be kiasu

... who disproved the general belief that lecturers are serious, boring creatures

... who made sure every outing is fun just by being part of it

... who are marvellous in every way

... and also to all my other girlfriends (whose pics I hadn't manage to include) -
I you all!

It's great to be a woman because ...

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3. Cabs stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

What would we do without girlfriends?

Happy Girlfriends' Day... whenever it is.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Fake Fire Real Drill

Early in the morning, I had heard colleagues talk about a fire drill, which would be conducted later in the morning. Cheh, I thought. I thought wrong. So wrong.

At 10+ am, the fire alarm went off.

"Oh, that's the drill... let's go."
"Leave everything behind."
"I don't wanna leave my handbag behind."
"Just take your handphones la."

If there was a real fire, I don't want to leave my handbag behind to be burned... along with my money, IC, keys etc... *and I took my handbag along... what the heck*

We exited the building via some flights of stairs and while walking toward the carpark where everyone was to gather, we saw a big puffs of black smoke billowing out of the spot where the CEO's office is.

"Wow... this is real ar!"
"No, it's just a drill"
"But really got smoke!!!"
*and my colleagues just laughed at me*

At the carpark, I noticed that cardboards printed with each department's names were placed on stands, so employees will know where they were supposed to line up, and I was quite convinced that it was a drill... not the real thing. Something else that confirmed that there wasn't any actual fire:

... "victims" having time to take umbrellas while evacuating the "burning" building

A while later, my jaw dropped when I noticed how convincingly real this fire drill was. The entire emergency rescue fleet appeared within minutes (I was told this fire drill functioned as a drill for them too - to test their response time) :

... the police

... the Bomba (they came in 2 or 3 fire engines!)

... the ambulance, complete with paramedics

... and a real firefighter spraying real water out of a real firehose

Despite the very hot weather, I was impressed enough to quit my shadowy nook (the shade cast by a Toyota Unser at the carpark) to snap photos! There were full-uniformed police officers "watching" over the "operation" and the firefighters were in full gear - protective clothing, masks, oxygen tanks and all! They even got 2 employees to take the role of the injured and were actually placed on stretchers and hauled into the waiting ambulance. And then the ambulance sped off! I remember thinking - if the poor "victims" really got ferried to the hospital, how on earth were they to get back to the office later? (in the evening, a colleague told me that the paramedics were actually not informed that the "victims" were not real - only the ER doctors at the hospital knew. *ok, I think this is too much*!)

After the whole thing was over and we were all back in our office with its very welcomed air-conditioning full-blast, I told a few friends online about the exciting episode. One guy didn't seem impressed at all.

"Last time we also got the bomb drill, and the bomb squad came"

Wow! That must be more exciting than our fire drill! Could we have a bomb drill somewhen in the near future? How did they evacuate? Did they move everyone away?

"Nope - stood under the hot sun outside the building for 30-40mins, before they completed their play and we were allowed back to office"

Outside the building? What kind of bomb drill is that? If the "bomb" detonates and the building blows apart... everyone will die all the same. Still, I wouldn't mind experiencing a bomb drill :P

A while later I was telling another guy about our exciting fire drill, and about the first guy's bomb drill experience. He had an idea:

"Better still - a nuclear radiation drill... people in space suits come!"

Oooh. I would love to have that! And they would give each and every one of us "victims" a space suit to wear too!

"And we act mutated"

Hahahah. That'll be the ultimate drill of our lives... if it ever happens. Meanwhile, I have to make the amusement I got from the recent fire drill to last me till the weekend *tomorrow is friday!*

Monday, September 3, 2007

Joke for a Monday

What's worse than a Monday morning? A rainy Monday morning. And what's worse than that? A Monday morning after a looooooooooong Merdeka weekend. Sigh. Here's a little joke to alleviate those Monday blues...

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.

Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline company, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best Universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the Successes of our sons... What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."

The three friends said: "What a shame...What a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."

Monday... ... ... counting the days till Friday.