Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Shorter is Better

There are lots of discrimination issues - racial, sexual, religious - even discrimination against overweight people; but never height discrimination. Yes, all over, people openly protest and fight against discrimination of others based on race, gender or religion, and never height - I am serious about it. And short people suffer much for being short! One'd never hear of anyone being too tall for anything - but too short, definitely! For one thing, to be an air-steward/stewardess, one has to be above a certain height. I have heard that it's because they have to be able to reach up to the cabinets for hand-luggages (it's lame, but ok, I'll buy it). The other irritating fact is that all models and beauty pageant contestants have to be obnoxiously tall. What - only tall is considered beautiful, and short is not? And it'd never crossed any minds that this is downright a full-fledged discrimination?

My fellow short friends and I have always thought that it is way better being at the height that we are. Not convinced? Let me share a classic then - my good friend Shali's 17 Reasons Why It's Better Being Short:

1. We have lower centers of gravity, thus we're much more stable (we don't go off-balance and fall easily even when standing up during the roughest of bus or train journeys)

2. We don't need to bend when we pass under signboard etc. (no unnecessary strains to the backbone)

3. We are granted a seating in the much talked-about "Penguin Clan" (our own secret society for the vertically-challenged)

4. We have a very low probability ( about 0.000001246) of being struck by lightning

5. We get to line up in front during assembly (every schoolgirl's dream - really!)

6. We'll look 17 all the time (now, nearly ten years past 17, we still need to show our ICs when entering casinos - that's a real compliment!)

7. We consume a lot less amount of cloth for our clothing - really environment-friendly creatures!

8. We get a lower fare going into the bus, zoos, museums etc. (has not happened to me yet, but it's a probable wishful thinking *grin*)

9. During hide-and-seek, we can hide in the smallest crevices (not to mention we can tuck our legs comfortably up around us when we sit in a standard-sized chair, whereas long-legged freaks have to leave them on the floor... haha)

10. Our hearts are much healthier because they don't need to pump vigorously - the distance between our hearts and our legs are not much!

11. We tend to react faster because our impulses have less distance to travel, and can, therefore, reach our brains much sooner.

12. We can float on water easily

13. We get to look like Ms Heng (our petite Physics teacher whom we love and idolise)

14. We look closely related to our ancestors... the chimps (try as you may, tall as you are, you cannot deny your origin!)

15. God spent much less time creating us (He's a busy man, He needs all the free time He gets)

16. We use a lot less water when we bathe.

17. We don't empty half the pool when we plunge in (also, we get to swim in both the adult's and the children's pools)

(For the record, Shali wrote this when she was 17)

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