Not Pretty

My roomee was recounting a conversation she had with a certain individual, who happened to have said that a certain other individual isn't pretty. She made a remark along the lines of how terrible it is to call someone ugly. While I agree it is indeed rude to call someone ugly outright, in his/her face, but if someone truly isn't good-looking, is it really so bad to express it?

Sometimes, I wonder what is so wrong with not being within the "standard" definition of beauty. I myself have been labeled "bad" or "mean", reprimanded, and smacked, by my girl friends, just for expressing honest opinions of some other people's looks. (Fine, I called them ugly. Sorry, but I really do find them ugly). It is as if I've judged a person solely by the looks. That is not true. When I make any comments on anyone's looks, they refer exactly to that - the looks; nothing about the person's (perhaps) admirable talent, (possibly) generous heart, (probably) wonderful personality and (hopefully) worthy life-partner material. If one is all that, should one care that one isn't gorgeously hot as well?

I remember reading a post on the official Sarah Brightman forum where the members sort of squabbled. It started with someone posting a link to a YouTube video of Sarah performing somewhere, and amidst doting, flattering, and ardently-in-love-with-Sarah replies, one person, though full of praises for the performance itself, had the misfortune to say "Sarah looks fat". (Note: personally, I don't think she is, but she's certainly not celebrity-standard-thin, in a good manner) That poor fella was shot left, right and center, over and over, by so many. They echoed the same sentiment - Sarah is beautiful, she is not fat. It made me think - do they mean if Sarah were to put on more weight than is ideal for her frame, she wouldn't be beautiful any longer? More importantly, if she doesn't look she way she does (say, much less pleasant to look at) will her music be less amazing?

It is something we all should think about. Perhaps then, one does not need to give a damn (that is, to take offense) when someone passes a comment unfavourable to one's ears (and ego, mayhap). Furthermore, there's no "flaw" anyone might have that make-up and wardrobe can't take care of =P