Sunday, November 16, 2008

The GAH Wedding Dinner

I've thought about this for over half a day - is it right for me to write badly of someone's wedding dinner? Well, we all know that if we do not have anything nice to say, then we ought to just keep quiet! Lady A said it is also downright rude, and I should just keep whatever thoughts I have to myself - "i cant belive u even has to ask" (his very words, copy & pasted from my chat archive). But the temptation to do this is too much to resist, and as Oscar Wilde said, the only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. So there.

I guess it wouldn't make me more noble if I started by saying that the groom looked charming, his bride breathtakingly lovely, the food tasted great and the live 3-fellow band spectacular.

First of all, the wedding was one of the THREE held in a really huge Chinese restaurant which was divided into 3 sections, separated only by those thin, moveable partitions, that didn't even reach to the ceiling. It would be stating the very, very obvious, to say that they weren't in the least soundproof. Each of the 3 receptions played their own loud music whilst the guests were arriving according to the conventional "Malaysian time". The reception I attended was strategically the one in the center. Besides the very irritating noise spillover from the receptions on either side, someone from the restaurant's management had to repeatedly (and I really mean repeatedly) make an announcement about such and such toilets being under renovation, and would the guests proceed to use the other such and such toilets. That really put me in such a "romantic" mood for the wedding... GAH!

The management wouldn't had to had worried about guests needing the toilets if they knew how their waiters / waitresses were performing that evening. After seating myself down at a table, I remained seated for the most of the next hour without a drink. Those walking around with beer and wine simply passed me by, countless of times, as if I were invisible. (Did I die and not know I died? Wait, let me buzz someone online - there, there is a reply - so either I'm still alive, or my spirit is hallucinating right now) No matter, because I didn't want alcoholic beverage anyway. There ought to be at least someone serving hot Chinese tea, oughtn't there? Under normal circumstances, I would had called one of those who insisted on walking by me, ignoring the fact that my glass is empty, and asked outright for what I wanted. But being in a sour mood (oh yea... very sour), I couldn't be bothered (and well, sat there and festered in my silent dissatisfaction till the idea of writing this post came up...) When the dinner was about to start someone filled my glass with a carbonated drink, which I didn't fancy, but was the closest thing reachable without the assistance of a waiter / waitress. A little while after the dinner actually begun, I felt a little less sour (I did mention the food was good...) and asked for hot Chinese tea. The waiter who was asked took forever to get back to me (his definition of waiting must be 'you wait for me', and not 'I wait on you'), and instead of bringing me the glass of hot Chinese tea I wanted, said "We ran out of glasses. Can you finish your drink first and I'll refill it with tea for you". I have no other expression for this, other than... GAH!

Halfway through dinner, this really fat guy came swaggering around the tables carrying a month-old infant who belonged to someone else, showing her (the baby) off. He obviously did not know how to carry a baby, and several times I cringed inwardly witnessing the precarious way he "cradled" the baby using 1 arm, while mindlessly flirting with girls who cared to pay him attention, perhaps due to the baby he had that wasn't his. Twice or thrice I suppressed the urge to jump up and slap him senseless because he carelessly let the baby's head drop outwards to the side of his flabby arm, because he didn't know how to support it properly. A month-old baby! So small, delicate and fragile! And as if it wasn't enough, at a later time, the same fat fella brought the same poor little one to my table, and passed her to a fat girl there, who proved even more ill-experienced with the very young! This incident is simply too horrible to recount. Thank heaven thank earth the baby escaped the ordeal unhurt (I hope!). What were the parents thinking, letting such an inexperienced 'friend' carry off their month-old little precious, to be paraded around a cramped, crowded and noisy wedding dinner, and who'd let an even more inexperienced fella tumble her around in her (also) flabby arms?! I am most surely not the best mother around, but I am possessive enough to know that, if I can help it, I would never allow anyone to carry my baby around, showing her off as if she was some exhibit! And to those who like to show off babies so much - do it with your own, not with your friends'! GAH!

I am not an expert wine-drinker. Fine, I am not a wine-drinker at all. I know nothing of wines, and know nothing much about how they ought to be drunk. But I do know one shouldn't add ice-cubes to their wine, much less water, and (bee ree is sooo gonna cringe at this) 7up. And yes - those at my table kept doing it the whole evening. Maybe they confused wine with hard liqour? Whatever. Just know that it made me roll my eyes and go... GAH!!!

Again, I guess it wouldn't make me more noble if I ended this post with a positive note - but well, there was NO KARAOKE throughout the affair! Woo hooooo! Congratulations, and I hope you two will have a great life together. :)

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