Monday, July 7, 2008

Seeking the Joy

I first knew him when I took his English class, 11 years ago. He was known as the killer for that course, and everyone was afraid of being in his class. In the very first class, there were about 40 of us, and by the second class, there were only about 20+ left. Only about 15 of us survived to take the final exam (don't know how many actually passed though...). I cannot speak for the rest of the students at the time, but I myself truly respect and admire him. He's focused and achievement-oriented, kind and generous, understanding and the best mentor I'd known since my college days. He is sarcastic, yes - but those who were the target of his sarcasm sooo deserved it.

As a lecturer, he was exceptionally caring, despite being strict in class, and always demanded for the best we could manage. He never hesitated in giving advice, words of comfort, and assistance in any ways he could, even when I was no longer his student. He'd take my calls, entertain my questions and consent to see me whenever I needed - and I know he's extremely busy.

Right after graduating, I paid him a visit and he arranged for my very first interview (there and then!) which resulted in my first job, which I held on to for 6 years. Throughout my time there, he proved to be just as great a superior and friend, as well as mentor.

I am gone now, to a place I still feel I do not belong. I'd gone through a period of serious depression and am still rather stressed out all the time. He told me to take things a step at a time, to not think of all at once, to first learn to enjoy what I'd enjoyed doing in those first 6 years of my working life. And I really do appreciate this piece of advice, and I do feel that my poor, battered emotions are improving, so long as I could find some joy in my daily tasks. I am seeking - truly am, though truthfully, I am nowhere close to the state I was in, once upon a time.

I'd been reading some old posts which I wrote three years ago - this one for example, never fails to make me laugh (erm, yes I can be quite full of myself sometimes...). Look at this one too. And there were a handful about the naughty ones who wreaked havoc in class - and who could ever forget the "controversial" Re-Test-ers post!

I wish I could find the passion in doing this again. I am trying, and will keep trying. Thank you, Dr Lim, for the sound advice. I am so blessed to have known you!


cher-ry said...

wah...u neva change lar!!

neil said...

I hope you meant that in a good way... heheh

CK said...

hi Yee Lien this is CK. Interesting blog work you have there. keep it up and I shall come back again.

neil said...

CK, glad you enjoyed the read :)